Lists in slideshow format must die. (Oolong Caloophid fixes everything, pt. 2)

Why do they do this? It's often a perfectly good idea for a story, but I don't want to click through a bunch of pages just to see everything. Case in point, I recently saw a story about the top 50 sci-fi TV shows of all time. "Neat," I thought. But upon opening the page I saw that the list was in slideshow format... 50 goddamn pages to click through. Being a giant nerd, I proceeded anyway. This is a rarity. Most of the time I would just skip it all together. And as a side note, whoever wrote that list is a moron. Xena is higher than Firefly!? Xena isn't even sci-fi! But I digress.

The next list-type thing that caught my eye was "top tech blunders". Wouldn't you know it? A slideshow. Why? Why is this an acceptable way to display a story? Clearly you encounter more ads... but is that reason enough to use such an irritating format? Here's how it probably goes in editor's offices (or AIM chat if there's no office) all over the world:

Writer: Hey, here's that witty top 20 list you wanted boss.

Douche Boss: Ok... looks good. Really interesting, insightful stuff.

Writer: Thanks, boss. I worked really hard on it. I bet it would make it to the front page of Digg.

Douche Boss: So now all we have to do is put in an annoying slideshow format that allows us to serve up a bunch more ads.

Writer: Isn't that such a huge hassle to read that many people won't even click through all the pages, thus resulting in fewer ads being viewed?

Douche Boss: What did I tell you about using logic around here? The ads are a secondary objective, I mostly just like being a dick.

So, listen up douchebag editors: Stop it with the slideshows! Just put everything on one page. It will make people actually want to read your site. It has the added benefit of not pissing me off.

Do people even know why they don't like Vista?

I'm certainly no Microsoft fanboy, but I use Vista and even defend it from time to time. There's a lot of negative press about Vista right now. Everyone is hearing from a friend that Vista is bad news, and they shouldn't buy a new PC with it pre-installed (not like they have a choice anymore). The question is... does that friend know anything about Vista? Turns out that the answer might be, "no". In preparation for a new marketing campaign MS got together a bunch of XP users with bad impressions of Vista. The subjects were chatted up about why they disliked Vista, and were then given a sneak preview of a new OS: 'Mojave'. Over 90% liked it. Then MS told them that there is no Mojave. What they'd just seen was Vista. Pwned? Yep.

I'm not saying Windows Vista is the perfect OS. You can't really deny that Linux has it beat in most ways. But I think this 'Mojave' thing shows a good deal of the bad press is just bluster. The official site will be up in a few days. I'm interested to see if it will be an effective marketing campaign, or if it will just come off as "out of touch".

Cnet article here.

Who is John McCain's Greatest Critic?

Well... it's John McCain of course.

This is a great video by The Jed Report. McCain now says the war was mismanaged, and that he was very against it. With all the proselytizing he was doing around 2003-2006 it wasn't hard to find contradictory footage. I said back in June that he was willing to do anything to be president. This is just more evidence.

I particularly like the end of this video when he's asked about how he would react if Iraq asked for a "timeline". Apparently, he doesn't know al-Maliki as well as he thought. Iraq was going to have to distance themselves from the US eventually. Having a long term US presence makes them look impotent to their neighbors. The UAE recently decided to forgive billions in Iraqi debt. This shows other Arab states are going to get behind Iraq. I think the subtext here is loose the Americans, and we'll help you out.

This video was on Digg once before its current run and was buried by the McCain squad. A closer examination of McCain's website gives me chills:

"Select from the numerous web, blog and news sites listed here, go there, and make your opinions supporting John McCain known. Once you’ve commented on a post, video or news story, report the details of your comment by clicking the button below. After your comments are verified, you will be awarded points through the McCain Online Action Center."

What the fuck is that all about? That's just idiotic. There are talking points there too. So they reward their supporters with "points" for regurgitating the campaign's talking points. That's just tacky. If McCain knew how to use a computer I'd blame him directly. As it is, I'm sure some 20-something staffer came up with this cluster-fuck.

Inappropriate? Yeah, I think so.

Writer Lisa Taddeo apparently thinks that people want to know more about Heath Ledger. I can understand this... I mean, his portrayal of The Joker in the new Batman is fucking spectacular. So she wrote an account of his last few days. When I came across this I thought it may be interesting. Well, I did until I got to this:

"The result is what we call reported fiction. Some of the elements are true. (Ledger was in London. He was a regular at the Beatrice Inn and the Mirö Cafe. And he was infatuated with Nick Drake.) Others are not."

Hmmm...so the author used her "artistic license" to fictionalize the last few days of someone's life. I must admit I was not really enthused by the concept. Oh, it gets better though... it's written in first person. So you get things like this:

"That's the kind of shit you can get away with when you're a celebrity. You can go out there in a fucking ski mask and you can still get laid. They will know your eyes from a mile off. They will smell your fame no matter how much you try to scrub it off.."

It just comes off badly; it's tasteless. All this random shit that gives an impression of how a person thought... but who is this lady to put things in a dead person's mouth? He's dead, and making up stories about him banging a chick in a fur coat (and then blowing her off) is just fucking weird. It's just presumptuous to assume you can speak using a dead man's voice. As totally metal as that last phrase sounds, I don't like it. I give this pedantic bunk two thumbs down.

Oolon Colluphid Fixes Everything (part 1)

I've got a proposition for everyone...

We've come to the point that Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae need government help. Okay, fine... I agree that they can't be allowed to fail. Of course, the internet libertarian thinks otherwise. But I have news on that front: the market cannot recover from the failure of two companies that hold over 5 trillion in US mortgage debt. Even if they might be fine, we have to be ready in case they're not. Lack of regulation has become rampant in the last few years. The Republicans are all about keeping the government from sticking its nose in the private sector... unless their rich buddies at Fannie and Freddie need help.

It would have been better policy to keep these two companies from becoming so large in the first place. How did this happen? Why were there no regulations? Why were these companies allowed to borrow so much money on the strength of implicit government backing? The answer to all these is lobbying. Yep, Freddie and Fannie have some of the best lobbyists in the business. Every time the question of better regulation came up, it was crushed. Opposing these companies looked to be an attack on low income home buyers. This isn't true. In the future there needs to be more regulation, plain and simple.

But how? Clearly, we can't just ban them from talking (what with the first amendment and all). But... we can record the lobbyists. Everything a lobbyist says to a lawmaker should be recorded and placed on the internet. If every meeting is part of the public record there will be none of this quid pro quo bunk. There would be people that spent all their time obsessively listening to all the hours of dry, inane chit chat, just witing for that inapropriate insinuation. Then they'd be off to some blog to post all about it. Just think about it. A lobbyist won't be able to imply that a vote in their clients favor will elicit a campaign donation. Nor will they be able to threaten to support a political rival. No organization would want that sort of publicity. C'mon... it's a good idea.

Buzz Aldrin Hates Sci-fi?

Ok... so apparently Buzz Aldrin blames science fiction for lack of interest in space exploration. Especially among young people. I'll say up front that I disagree with this hypothesis. Here's what he said:

"I blame the fantastic and unbelievable shows about space flight and rocket ships that are on today. All the shows where they beam people around and things like that have made young people think that that is what the space program should be doing. It's not realistic."

I think Buzz is yearning for the old days. Back when the space program was synonymous with patriotism. That's not how it is anymore, but it should be. We do few things more fantastic, more important, than explore the universe and our place in it. When he walked on the moon he was an American hero. It made everyone believe that America was more ingenious, more fit than the Soviet Union. We don't have a technological rival anymore. No one is racing us to Mars. For the most part, scientists work together on space exploration (and that's for the best). Astronomers make discoveries constantly that expand our knowledge of the universe, but it gets buried on page G11... below the fold.

But I don't think this can be blamed on sci-fi. I, as a giant nerd, loves me some hard sci-fi. If anything, sci-fi increases interest the sciences. I grew up watching Star Trek: TNG and reading sci-fi books. If anything, young people need more exposure to science fiction. It's not their fault that the sort of "popular" sci-fi that might lead them down that path is scarce these days. Good science fiction elicits a sense of wonder, and that's where science starts.

The "unrealistic" technology in sci-fi doesn't make what we can do any less important or impressive. As Phil Plait of the Bad Astronomy blog points out, we can take a picture of a man-made object parachuting to the surface of Mars with another man-made object already orbiting the planet. That is damn impressive. Even though we have a long way to go, it's not discouraging.

Since I was a teenager, science fiction made me think about the future of humanity. Are we destined to stay on this planet until we go extinct? I hope not. I believe if our species is to survive, we have to spread out someday. Spaceflight is important, knowing what's out there is important. My love for science and science fiction are one in the same. These, and other things I have learned from the likes of Asimov, Card, Vinge, Roddenberry, and many others.

Guillermo Del Toro Loves Steampunk

So I saw Hellboy II the other day. I'd heard it was really good. I mean, an 87% on rotten tomatoes seemed to be pretty convincing. But I have to admit... I was disappointed in it. It had all the standard comic book movie foibles: irritating sub-plots, cringe-worthy dialogue, and not very believable sequences. I can forgive a lot of this kind of stuff for the right film, and this one was close. What it really came down to was the imagery. A closer look at the reviews indicates that many of the positive ones pointed favorably to the visuals of Del Toro. Case in point:

"There's so much beauty and imagination on display in Hellboy II: The Golden Army that it's sometimes hard to tell if you're watching an action movie or a museum exhibit called 'The Artistry of Guillermo Del Toro.'" -Chris Hewitt (St. Paul Pioneer Press)

And...

"Hellboy II, like its 2004 predecessor, has a middling story line, but it's made memorable by the dark, freaky visions of director Guillermo del Toro. And this time, his imagination runs wilder than ever." - Rafer Guzman (Newsday)

Ok... so the visuals make the film in a lot of people's eyes. It makes sense, under its shiny, steam-driven exterior it's a pretty standard comic book film. Most of the visuals can be described with one word: Steampunk. The whole time I couldn't help but notice all the steampunk elements. It's fairly obvious from the various goggles and eye pieces, to the mechanized golden army, to Johann Strauss' diving suit.

Above: Johann Strauss' suit screams steampunk in a not so subtle way.

Without giving too much away, I have to say the end is a steampunk extravaganza. Complete with giant steam powered gears and the very steampunk-esque golden army:

Above: Possibly more steampunk than Strauss

Surprisingly, the visuals don't do it for me. It's all just too conventionally steampunk. You don't see a lot of this sort of stuff in the mainstream, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been done before. This might be fine for most people though. I have to admit, I don't much care for steampunk... the goggles, the gears, steam pouring out of everything. Not my bag. If you think this whole steampunk thing is up your alley, then by all means, see this movie.

This film was just ok for me...

Yep, I borrowed the pics from io9, what of it?